Contributed By Tom - The All Star Game

The All Star Game. What are we as fans to make out of this self-congratulatory spectacle? They say that about 1% of high school baseball players play in college and a surprising 23% of those college players then get to play in the minor league system. 18% of those minor leaguers become one of the 1,200 players in major league baseball, of which 64 players a year will play in the All Star game. From this, we will also pick an All Star MVP.

By that description, this should be a pinnacle of human achievement. These All-Stars are the best of the smallest percentile of athletes that can play a game that we cherish. But yet, it isn’t. There are many hardcore baseball fans that will miss the All Star game in favor of a Kick-ball Flip Cup tournament or an early premiere of Harry Potter. No one told the celebrities this, because they will be out in full force with their “I-grew-up-loving-the-Cubs/Red Sox/Tigers-and-can’t-wait-for-

their-first-touchdown” faces on. Yet Bud Selig had to put something on the line for the game to matter, otherwise players were going to half-ass it and fans were only going to flip to it during commercial breaks while watching House or The Real Desperate Housewives of New Jersey (dem some crazy bitches and if you don’t watch you are only cheating yourself).

Despite lower ratings, I think the NBA All Star game is much more fun to watch. I have a friend that plans to get together with his buddies from all over the East Coast every year specifically to watch all of the events, including the fluff of “100 Best Assists/In-bound Passes/Uncomfortable Trainer Leg Stretches.” It is basically just the best of the best having fun (see Home Run Derby).

It’s worth mentioning the Pro Bowl, which ironically enough has the most significance as far as being named to the team (how often do we hear “Five Time Pro Bowler”?) but least significant game. I refuse to watch the Pro Bowl until they make it two hand touch. At least then the players will feel they can be competitive. As it is right now you can almost see the linebackers whispering “sorry” as they gently tackle running backs.

At the end of the day, All Star games should be about the players having fun and working to one-up each other. You can’t tell a group of athletes that they were all selected for their individual achievement, and then ask them to play as a team. It is boring to watch…unless Piazza and Clemens are playing.